Why Presence Matters More Than Hours With Family
Emma Grede is a "three-hour mom."
The conversation quickly became judgmental with a 'that's not enough' mentality. People went as far as to say if thats all you can do why bother having kids?! As if facetime is what makes our kids successful/happy/etc.
But that misses the point because time isn't what we should be focusing on; attention is.
You can spend an entire day around your family and still not really be there. On the other hand, you can have a short window where you are completely present, and your attention is undivided.
Those are very different things.
A lot of what gets labeled as "privilege" is actually the result of conscious trade-offs. Figuring out what only you should be doing and letting go of the rest. Then you build support around it and show up more intentionally.
I always ask myself if this needs to be done and if it needs to be done by me?
If the answer is no, I let it go and optimize my time so I can be fully present in the moments that matter.
But there's this narrative being pushed that you should feel guilty for loving your job and your family. I reject that. Both can be true without guilt.
There's no perfect formula for this, but it's worth considering if we're measuring presence by time or by attention?
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